Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dating Tips : Women and Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce...then they should plan accordingly.

Women who think that they are signs that her husband may ask for a divorce but haven't thought about it deeply or who think that a divorce would better suit them rather than their husbands, should view the situation realistically and as stoically as possible. This will ensure that plan they take is calculated, logical and will benefit them based on what they want the end result to yield.

Often times women refuse to think that a divorce could happen to them and one day their husband comes home and says "There's something I have been meaning to talk to you about..." or "I think we should get a divorce." or something similar. If the situation has reached this point, its too late for women to start planning for their financial future after divorce.

So what do women who think a divorce is eminent or who want a divorce for themselves do in order to ensure they aren't left in financial ruin?

There's certainly a myriad of tactics that can be used and each woman's situation is different regarding divorce, but here's some tactics that will help:

Women and divorce tactic 1:
Once women validate their own reasons for divorce and are sure that divorce is the right path, they should make a plan and keep it to themselves. They shouldn't let anyone know what they've decided to do. They should not tell their friends, co-workers, or family...no one.

And they certainly shouldn't lead on to their husband that they want a divorce if they are the ones who will be making the first move to end the marriage.

Women and divorce tactic 2:
Women in divorce should realize that the plan they take may require several months to implement and they should be patient and plan logically. Women should learn how much money it would take to support themselves (and children if the situation warrants it), how much money is actually available to them now, and how they can adjust their lifestyle to make sure they can financially survive.

Women and divorce tactic 3:
Women who may be facing divorce should look at the household wills. In some cases, it may be legal to take someone out of a will or put someone into a will without that person knowing.

Women and divorce tactic 4:
Women who want to plan for divorce should try to put away cash in the event something dramatic happens unexpectedly. Bit by bit, putting cash away somewhere in a place that cannot be found by heir husband will allow women to make sure they can survive in the event of "unforeseen circumstances".

Women and divorce tactic 5:
Women who plan on getting divorced should document any events that will strengthen their case against their husband. Occurrences such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, and drunken stupors that end in embaraasment or abuse are examples or instances that should be documented because these happeneings strengthen any case the women have against their husband.

Women and divorce tactic 6:
Women who know that divorce is in their future should do all they can to decrease liabilities and increase their access to money. This includes paying down mutual debt, establishing credit of their own if they do not have credit already, and making sure that the mortgage (if there is one) is paid down as much as possible.

Women and divorce tactic 7:
Women who are serious about getting a divorce or who think that their husband might ask for a divorce in the future should gather all documents that have to do with anything financial that has their name listed. They should make a list of all these items with financial institution name, address, account number, balance, interest rate, etc.

Knowing exactly what is at stake financially will help alleviate surprises later.

Planning a divorce can be as painful for women as it can be for men. Generally, women aren't the breadwinners (although things are getting a lot closer to being 'new age' than in previous decades) and getting surprised with divorce papers can have long term financial affects to women who don't plan accordingly and protect themselves financially.

Source: Click here to get the source and other related articles.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dealing with divorce-related stress by Lora Pfundheller

Divorce is one of the most stressful events in an adult's life. For most people, divorce is a time of sadness and regret. In the midst of this emotional turmoil, many practical changes must also be dealt with. Daily life must be reorganized to accommodate the new structure of the family. Finances need to be untangled and rethought. Self identity shifts from being a spouse to being single. Possessions are divided up. If there are children involved, their need for reassurance and answers is immediate. All of these changes can add up to an enormous amount of stress. Below are some general strategies for dealing with it.
1. Allow yourself to grieve. If you don't acknowledge your feelings of sadness and anger, they will overwhelm you, adding dramatically to your stress. It is normal to mourn the end of a marriage. There are good times in almost every marriage, no matter how badly it turned out. Seeing those good times come to an end is distressing. Even if you are the one seeking the divorce, there is loss involved. You are losing your identity, your partner, even your in-laws. Go ahead and cry.
2. Accept the fact of the divorce. Pretending the divorce isn't happening won't change reality. Denial creates chaos, as your fear of the coming change clashes with the necessity of moving forward. Acceptance allows you to begin building a new status quo.
3. Make time for yourself, especially if you are now a single parent. Taking on all the household responsibility can be staggering. It is vital that you relax when you begin to feel overwhelmed by it all. If you can only spare a few minutes, take a shower or do deep breathing exercises. If you have the time, take a walk or curl up with a good book. You will feel better and get more accomplished once you've de-stressed a bit.
4. Talk about your feelings. Express yourself to family members or friends. Seek help from a therapist for depression. Find a support group for divorced people or single parents. Keep a diary. Sharing your experience and getting advice and comfort will lower your stress level.
5. Socialize. Get together with friends and enjoy yourself. When you isolate yourself, your problems become the only thing you can think about. Stop dwelling on the divorce and allow yourself to laugh. You will be able to face your new challenges feeling less stressed if you realize you can still have fun.
6. Rediscover yourself. What did you like to do before you got married? Did you write poetry or paint? Perhaps you spent your free time surfing or gardening. Whatever you once filled your time with, you did it for a reason. You did it because it was relaxing and fulfilling. Now is a great time to get back to your old hobbies, or discover new ones.
The end of a marriage is always difficult. The changes in your life will be countless and stress is inevitable. While there is no way to avoid stress during divorce altogether, using these tips will help you minimize your stress and get on with your life.

Source: http://www.helium.com/items/790002-dealing-with-divorce-related-stress