Friday, April 16, 2010

Dating Tips: 4 Common Gripes About Asking Women Out and How to Get Over Them

Get over your fear of rejection men! There are so many single men out there who want to find the girl of their dreams but for whatever reason, they are just not asking women out nearly enough. Here are four common male gripes about asking women out and how to get over them.

Man Gripe: How come that guy gets all the girls and I get none?

"The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man."-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

You don’t have because you don’t ask enough women or you give up too soon. Men, she wants to be wanted! Some guys look at other guys who got the girl and wonder how they did it. 9 times out of 10 it began with the man putting himself out there, asking the woman out. The very act of pursuit and wooing makes men more attractive and gives you an advantage over other men who don’t ask. The man who asks many women out will always have the upper hand over the man who sits on the bench and waits for women to ask him out. I know it gets confusing especially after the feminist movement. Many women feel empowered to ask men out. Good for them. But I guarantee you if you ask any woman, 10 times out of 10 a woman would prefer that a man pursue her instead of the other way around. If men would realize just how attractive they become once we become the object of their desire… they would start asking more women out! It’s a numbers game. The more “no’s” you get, the closer you are to getting a “yes”. It’s a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful thing to be loved by a good woman (ask any man!) so the price you pay is high, and the amount of suffering and rejection you might have to go through is great, but in the end, ultimately, something as wonderful as a woman’s presence and love in your life is worth it.

Man Gripe: Women get annoyed when I ask them out. I feel like I’m bothering them.

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked." ~Ovid

Ovid is right. Some women might look annoyed, sound annoyed, maybe even truly be annoyed (only the gorgeous ones who get hit on all the time, and who have the ego the size of a small continent—you don’t want them anyways) but the truth is for the majority of women, it’s a very flattering thing to get asked out or hit on by a man. It reminds us that we still got it. All women are both vain and insecure, to varying degrees. Remember that. You’ll go far. Ask her out. Regardless of her reaction, you can know that most likely, you made her day!

Man Gripe: I’m not attractive, but I like attractive women. I’m just too insecure to put myself out there.
"Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

"A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him." ~Mae West

I think the first thing is to realize that women are different from men. Men are first and foremost turned on visually. Women can appreciate a good looking man, but we are first and foremost turned on emotionally. So when you approach or like a beautiful girl, remember she doesn't think the same way as you do. Instead of thinking "Oh God she's way too pretty for you!' think, "Wow that beautiful woman deserves a good man like me. She deserves to be told daily how beautiful she is. She deserves to be showered with compliments and be loved and cherished."

That's what women need-- to be loved and cherished and adored. Remember, men are looking for the "beauty" in the story. Women are looking for "prince charming." They don't call him "prince handsome" for a reason. It's because there's more than looks that women fall for.

Check out these two couples. These are two (in my opinion) not very good looking men who dated/married AMAZINGLY hot women.

Don't be discouraged! You have more to offer that is in your control than appearance. Still it's important to tweak what you can control: get it shape if you're not, have a clean appearance and good dental hygiene, and dress to gain the respect of women. Looks are not everything, but it is the first thing that gets noticed, so do all you can in your power to make the most of what you can!

Man Gripe: I feel like I’m awkward and just get too nervous to talk to women!

Put yourself out there, even if you feel silly or clumsy about it or feel like you'll look like a nervous wreck. Women secretly love when men look like a nervous wreck when they are declaring their interest for us. It shows we're special, you don't do that very often, you're really into us, and you’re taking a huge risk. Believe me, get out there and get nervous. It’s totally endearing, even if we’re not into you.

Midori is the girl behind Think old fashioned Carrie Bradshaw dishing out mother approved dating advice. She currently resides in Seattle.